Posted Sat Jan 17, 2015 12:39 pm
Well, I'mma use this thread to post whatever poems I've written that I feel like showing you. Will update regularly.
Stained Glass
You hide away and stay unseen,
ashamed of traits that make you.
Your outer shell remains unclean:
Impossible to see through.
Your character, your true desires,
You hide with a mask of glass.
They'll never see past their own lies
through panes of your miscoloured past.
You let them judge you from afar
like a blurry silhouette.
Judgmental eyes see only scars
and tears in yours, when they have met.
What makes you hide, inside of this
distorted figure, and twist, and twist?
England
Perhaps one day,
After the sky has finished gathering its friends,
And a lone boy has lost all of his,
When a young girl watches her balloon transform
into a lifeless pile of rubber;
As a homeless man sits cold and hungry
but notices, not too far away,
Someone tripping over
an elderly man's dog,
The rain will decide to just fuck off.
Perspective
Sometimes, I could look
from another angle,
Take a right turn where
I 'should' go left,
and see where I
End up. And then, maybe,
When I'm well and truly lost,
I'll continue forwards
chasing the smell of adventure,
Because I can't get back anyway.
General criticism for this kind of thing is word choices. Let's see what you've got for me.
Stained Glass
You hide away and stay unseen,
ashamed of traits that make you.
Your outer shell remains unclean:
Impossible to see through.
Your character, your true desires,
You hide with a mask of glass.
They'll never see past their own lies
through panes of your miscoloured past.
You let them judge you from afar
like a blurry silhouette.
Judgmental eyes see only scars
and tears in yours, when they have met.
What makes you hide, inside of this
distorted figure, and twist, and twist?
England
Perhaps one day,
After the sky has finished gathering its friends,
And a lone boy has lost all of his,
When a young girl watches her balloon transform
into a lifeless pile of rubber;
As a homeless man sits cold and hungry
but notices, not too far away,
Someone tripping over
an elderly man's dog,
The rain will decide to just fuck off.
Perspective
Sometimes, I could look
from another angle,
Take a right turn where
I 'should' go left,
and see where I
End up. And then, maybe,
When I'm well and truly lost,
I'll continue forwards
chasing the smell of adventure,
Because I can't get back anyway.
General criticism for this kind of thing is word choices. Let's see what you've got for me.
Last edited by jjh927 on Sun Jan 18, 2015 6:42 am; edited 2 times in total